A Lions Roar
by Scrump10
Summary: Phil's mind is playing tricks, he believes Dan hates him, his mum thinks him worthless and nobody cares. Dan has promised to help him but how long will this last?
1. Chapter 1

Phil looked across the glistening waters of the river, he stood still leaning against the wooden railings listening to the steady flow of the water as wind blew his hair gently. It normally relaxed him, made him feel free and alive, but today even the river had failed him. He closed his eyes taking in the peacful atmosphere of the forest, the rain was gently falling onto his face and Lion was perched upon his shoulder as if guarding his master. However not even lion could keep his mind from wandering to Dan, Dan's hair, Dan's smile, Dan's eyes, everything about Dan was perfect. Something he himself would never be.

Phil's mind casted Dan's image before him, he had a twisted, evil grin on his face and his arms were tensed his fists curled into tight balls. His voice, his body, his presence. It all felt so real. He walked closer to Phil, his footsteps echoing off the tarmac. He grabbed Phil by his collar, slamming his weakened body against a tree trunk his feet off the ground. "Why Phil?" He yelled, his face screwed up with anger, "I hate your god damn guts! You are so freaking pathetic!" He screamed looking Phil in the eyes as if daring him to challenge. "Why the hell would I ever love you, you disgusting fag!" He boomed continuing his assult "I'm sorry Dan." Phil wailed, his bottom lip quivering violently and tears streaming from his eyes. With one more dissaproving glare Dan simply disappeared, leaving Phil sobbing shakily on the ground, it was almost as if he was simply, never there, as if a second ago he hadn't been yelling at him.

Phil looked up, his defeated form was slumped on the floor. His ice blue eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Of course, Dan had been right. Who would ever love him? Dan could do so much better. Phil was abandoned, alone, confused and unloved.

Meanwhile back in the apartment, Dan paced nervously around the kitchen, he was worried, he hadn't seen Phil all day.

He had known for quite a while that there was something not quite right. Phil had stopped making videos, something he had really enjoyed doing. He also wasn't acting himself, he always seemed to stare out of the window for hours on end with a pained expression constantly etched onto his face. Even though he was in the apartment his mind was never at home, it torchered him, it was relentless, it made Phil feel worthless. Dan could never understand why. He cared for Phil, in a way that was more than friends and it hurt him to see Phil so upset, why Phil, why his innocent little lion?

"Phil" he yelled out of the window, earning a couple of judgemental stares from the people bustling about below going about their daily buisness. That was the thing about London. Nobody cared, the streets were always full of people, yet not one of them looked up at Dan with a look of concern or offered him a shoulder to cry on. They just walked past pushing the devestated cries to the back of their mind. "Phil please!" he yelled again his voice cracked and his screams turned to silent sobs.

Phil was still sat there alone, abandoned and lonely. He felt he deserved it though. He knew he was disgusting, he knew he was worthless and he knew that he should never go back to the apartment. Dan had told him earlier that he hated him, or he thought he had...

His mind once again decieved him. This time his mum stood infront of him looking down at her son with a disgusted look on her face. Her arms were crossed across her chest and her lips were pursed into a thin line. She harshly whispered "Your disgusting Phil, just look at you." Her eyes travelled across his body before she began talking again "In my opinion you would be better off dead." She gave him a hard kick to the stomach. Phil tried to crawl away, throwing his hands over his head as protection as his stomach burned with a searing intensity. "I'm sorry mom." he whispered his voice hardly audible and wavering violently "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for being a fail, I'm sorry for being worthless, I'm sorry for being gay. I know its wrong... But, i, just can't help it. It's D-D-Dan" Phil cried out

"Like I said Phil, you're worthless, Dan is a better son than you will ever be!"

"Phil!" A panicked yell echoed around the forest. "Dan!" A yell replied more desperate and full of fear than the first. A few moments later Dan burst into the clearing and spotted his best friend lying on the floor quivering as sobs wracked through his fragile frame.

"Dan please don't hurt me." Phil cried shuffling away from his friend readying himself for the inevitable blow. But it never came. "Phil, why would I hurt you?" Dan whispered horrified at what his friend had just said.

"Because you hate me." Phil whispered the tears once again beggining to form in his eyes.

Dan's mind wandered. Why did Phil feel like this? Why was he in the forest and why was he sobbing? His Phil, his beautiful Phil was broken and it broke Dan's heart.

"Phil he whispered, kneeling down beside his friend rubbing his back in what he hoped were soothing motions, Phil flinched at his touch, but soon relaxed as he realised Dan didn't want to hurt him anymore. "I would never hurt you... You are my best friend and Phil." he said catching his friends teary gaze "You mean the world to me."

"But...But.." Phil stumbled over his words "You think I'm disgusting, you told me to my face that I was worthless!"

Dan frowned he was as confused as Phil was, "I didn't Phil, I have been back in the apartment worried sick all day." He whispered truthfully.

"But...But...But" Then Phil broke down. His sobs sounded loudly around the silent forest. "What's happening to me Dan, what's going on?"

"I don't know, I just don't know whats wrong with you Phil." he sighed running his hand through his hair "I'm so scared, Be brave Phil, we will get through this." He told him.

Phil whimpered as he slowly stood up, his legs shook and he collapsed, falling into Dans arms. "Never leave me Dan." He whispered his baby blue eyes looked up at Dan vunerably. "I would never leave you." Dan replied quietly not wanting this beautiful moment to end.

With this the two boys walked slowly off into the sunset. Hand in hand, arms around each other. Whatever this was, whatever Phil had to go through. They would go through it together, and at the end of the day, that was all that had really ever mattered.

Hey guys :D I was thinking of making this a story and adding new parts, yes or no? This was an RP with my sister smileyface110 so check out her stories :D ~ Scrump10


	2. Chapter 2

The two boys soon got back home to their apartment after a peaceful walk just watching the sinking sun. Dan flopped lazily onto the couch, he kicked off his shoes and picked up the TV remote flicking through the channels. He spotted Phil standing awkwardly by the door nibbling on his lip and looking down at his feet. "Hey Phil?" Dan asked quietly.

Phil looked up at Dan, his eyes were watering and full of sadness. "Phil what's wrong?" Dan asked. Standing up quickly and wrapping him in a warm embrace, "You can tell me anything Phil remember?"

Phil sobbed onto Dan's shoulder his breathing shaky, he snuggled into Dan's soft sweatshirt finding comfort in Dan's warmth and comforting words. "Dan." He whispered his voice cracking. "Will I ever get better?" His big blue orbs looked up at Dan with a small twinkle of hope.

"Yes of course Phil." Dan whispered into his hair, not wanting to break the peace. Of course he couldn't guarantee that Phil would ever be better, but he could pray. If there was a god he prayed that god would have mercy. Phil was so kind, had such good intentions. Yet Dan could never protect him from the torturous images his own mind created.

Phil smiled, a smile which took Dan's breath away. He loved this boy so much. His smile could lighten up the darkest of nights the sparkle in his eyes was like an eight year olds. He was perfect, if only he knew just how perfect he was.

"Dan?" Phil asked again.

"Yes Phil" Dan smiled slightly.

"I love you." Phil whispered giggling like a five year old and blushing a crimson red putting colour onto his pale cheeks.

"I love you to Phil." Dan grinned tilting Phil's chin up gently, he closed his eyes and brushed his lips against the older boys. Their lips fit perfectly together like a jigsaw puzzle. Dan gently pulled away, smiling gently at Phil.

The TV quietly began playing a slow song and Dan smiled at his choice of channel. "Would you like to dance Phil?"

Phil looked around nervously "Dan I really can't dance."

"I will teach you." Dan smiled.

"Okay." Phil grinned back.

Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and Phil wrapped his around Dans neck pulling him in closer. He relaxed as he smelt the comforting scent of his cologne. They swayed from side to side enjoying the closeness. It was these times that Dan wished could never end. He wanted to live in this moment together. They were oblivious to the world. Only interested in each other and the soft music that filled the apartment.

Without warning Phil fell back, his mind pulling him back, back into darkness. This time his father stood before him, he laughed like a maniac making Phil scream in pure terror. "Philip, long time no see." He hissed. Phil shrunk into a corner hoping beyond hope that his father would go, leaving him back iin Dan's comforting arms. "Dan!" He yelled desperately "Please help me... Please" He sobbed, but of course, nobody came. He was alone again. Why was he always alone?

Dan yelled tears streaming down his face. "Phil!" He yelled desperately. "Phil it's okay! Please wake up!"Still no response. "Phil." He chocked out, i'm here Phil. Nothing can hurt you." Even he knew this was a lie, of course things could hurt Phil. Dan sighed whipping out his phone and dialing the number of the doctors.

"Hello Primrose Doctors surgery, how may I help you?"

"Umm I would like to book an appointment for my friend."

"Can't your friend book the appointment ?"

"No..." Dan sighed. "He has some sort of mental disorder. I really need to get him checked over.

"The girl on the phone sighed and then said "Okay Sir, name?"

"Philip Lester."

"We have a slot on Thursday at 12:15, Is that okay Sir?"

"Yes thats fine."

"Okay thank you Sir."

Dan hung up the phone looking over at Phil. His mind had finally given him a break. He was sleeping peacefully on the floor, only a lone tear staining his cheek. "Oh Phil", Dan whispered "I really hope you can get better."

He padded over to where his boyfriend lay on the floor and lay down beside him, He brushed the tear of his cheek and smiled slightly before laying down behind Phil and wrapping his hands around his waist. "I will never leave you Phil." He whispered before letting his head fall to the floor and sleep consumed him.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil shot up confusion and panic showing clearly on his face. It was dark, so dark he couldn't see a single thing. He was alone, in a bed that didn't feel like his own. His nightmare plagued his mind. It was all he could think of, Dan pleading with a gunman for his life, The gun shot echoing in Phil's ears, Dans body crumpling to the floor. It was all to much.

Phil saw a small light click on through the cracks of the door illuminating the small room and sighed in relief as he saw his surroundings. He was in Dan's room, snuggled up under his blankets.

Dan walked through the door a minute later and smiled when he saw Phil wide awake, his hair messy and falling over his face. "I had a nightmare Dan." Phil whimpered snuggling further into the sheets, burying his head in the soft pillow as if trying to bury the dream.

Dan sighed gently running a hand through his slightly curly hair, deep in thought . He walked over to the bed and slipped in beside Phil. He pulled him gently onto his chest kissing his forehead lightly. "It's okay Phil. I'm here now." Dan whispered wondering how many times he had said this these last few days. "Shh.." he whispered softly again.

Phil looked up at Dan his eyes still slightly red and his thin frame shaking. "Thank you Dan." He whispered shyly before resting his head back down on Dan's chest and falling into a peaceful sleep.

Dan and Phil woke up again at 10am, the sun had now risen and light poured through the thin curtains of their apartment. The dark of night had vanished along with any insecurities that last night had brought.

"Phil. What was that dream about last night?" Dan asked curiously.

Phil replied with a short "someone shot you Dan. You died."

"Oh." Dan responded hugging his boyfriend gently. "Well I'm okay."

"Yeah." Phil replied caught up in the dream once again.

Dan got up and stretched yawning loudly and ruffling his curly hair "You want breakfast?" He asked Phil

"Yeah please" Phil smiled.

Phil got up 15 minutes later as the smell of pancakes entered the room making his mouth water and his stomach grumble uncontrollably. He plodded into the kitchen his slippers dragging across the floor and and slumped into a seat at the breakfast bar. "Dan" He whined "I'm so hungry."

"Nearly done" Dan said flipping the last pancake way to high and sticking it to the ceiling. "S**t" he mumbled under his breath before walking off to get a stool to retrieve the soggy pancake.

Phil meanwhile flicked the radio on to hear muse blasting out "

Give me all the peace and joy in your mind!" He sang the lyrics at the top of his voice thinking about how true they were. Dan always seemed so calm, nothing ever fazed him.

Dan walked back in to hear muse on the radio. He to sang along while climbing up onto the stool and scraping the pancake off the roof. He tossed a bit at Phil and it splatted in his face. Dan laughed uncontrollably clutching his stomach as his infectious laughter filled the room. Phil to soon joined in and the two boys sat laughing and eating pancakes.

A phone call interrupted the laughter and Dan jumped down off his stool to answer it.

"Hey it's PJ."

"Oh hey, haven't seen you and Chris in ages. How are you guys?" Dan asked while walking slowly back to the breakfast bar.

"We're good. In fact we are throwing a party tonight at our new place. We were wondering if you and Phil would like to come along?"

"Hang on, let me just ask Phil." Dan removed the phone from his ear and said "Chris and PJ are having a party tonight, you wanna go?"

Phil nodded his head eagerly and Dan smiled.

"Yeah that should be great PJ."

"See you tonight then." PJ said happily.

"Bye." and then the two boys hung up.

Dan walked back over to Phil. A huge grin was on his face. "What you wearing tonight?" Dan asked

"Probably just some skinny jeans and a checked shirt. How about you" Phil asked still eating pancakes

"Probably skinny jeans and a polo shirt." Dan replied. "Nothing special anyway"

He picked up Phil's plate and threw it into the sink." Now go get ready. I'm taking you somewhere special today." He winked at Phil before walking into his own room to change.

Phil grinned to himself. Before he walked away to get changed.

An hour later Dan and Phil pulled up to the zoo. Phil bounced in his seat like a two year old. "Thank you Dan!" He yelled kissing his boyfriend on the lips before climbing out of the car. Dan chuckling walked over to the zoo gates.

"That will be £30 please sir." The women behind the registered said in a bored tone. Phil went to pull out his wallet but Dan stopped him.

"I'm paying" He whispered.

The women rolled her eyes as Dan held out the money. "Here's your tickets." She said "Have a nice day."

Dan pulled out the map he was given studying it carefully. "Lets go see the lions!" He yelled before roaring loudly. Needless to say he got a lot of strange looks. Phil blushed crimson as Dan grabbed his hand and led him through the swarming crowd. Today was going to be amazing.


	4. Chapter 4

The boys soon arrived at the lion enclosure and Phil grinned like a five year old. Dan again let out a long "ROARRRRRRRRRRRR!" and giggled as the lion raised its head along with the large crowd and stared directly at him.

The lion then stood up plodding lazily over to the gate swatting at the flies with its tail and yawned. Its sharp teeth and extremely bad breath enough to make the visitors step back even though it was behind bars. That was apart from Phil, who stared at the large creature with fascination and admiration. The lion stared at Phil and he stared back. It roared menacingly and Phil grinned in delight before snapping a picture and walking over to Dan who was stood clutching his stomach and crying with laughter.

"What's so funny?" Phil giggled at the sight of his boyfriend.

"Just..just.. how everyone else... was scared s**tless and you were just there... like... OHHHH its a lion lets take a picture!" Dan struggled to spit out in-between laughs.

Phil just shook his head and giggled looking at the map. "We are going to see the llamas next Dan!" He laughed knowing that it would now be his turn to make the jokes.

Dan stood still for a couple of seconds before yelling "MEAAAAAAAAA!" and galloping off down the crowded path. Leaving Phil to run after him laughing at the top of his voice.

When they arrived both boys were equally out of breath and Phil fell to the floor dramatically stretching out his arms and saying "I cannot go any further!"

Dan then collapsed on top of Phil and yelled "Carry me there my noble steed!"

Phil laughed and pushed Dan off of him getting up off the floor and dusting the dirt from his clothes.

He looked behind him to where his boyfriend had been sitting only moments ago but saw nobody. Puzzled he did a complete turn on the spot and only at the last minute did he notice that Dan was now leaning against the fence of the llama enclosure reciting the llama song to himself excitedly.

With a laugh he walked over and just as he was about to stand next to Dan the llama spat in his boyfriends face.

Dan stood shocked for a few seconds before laughing loudly and crumpling to the floor in a fit of giggles. "Oh my god Phil.. did you...did you just see that!" He yelled

"Yes of course i did!" Phil grinned back.

The rest of the day went by in a whirlwind of fun and laughter , Dan won Phil a stuffed animal at the fair, which made his boyfriend blush brightly and hide his face in the soft fur of the toy. They then saw way more animals, even ones neither of them had seen before.

At last it was time to go home and get ready for the party so the two boys with their arms wrapped around each other, made for the exit.

When they got home Dan opened the door to the apartment before flopping down exhausted onto the sofa. Soon Phil joined him resting his head on his shoulder.

"Did you have a good day Phil?" Dan asked nervously.

"Yeah. It was amazing thank you." Phil whispered back .

He leaned in and gently pressed his lips against Dan's, the two moved their lips in sync and all to quickly Dan reluctantly pulled back, he rested his head against Phil's and whispered "We need to get ready for the party." His boyfriend nodded and the two boys walked into their rooms to get ready for the night ahead. This was going to be fun!

After a long time fiddling with hair and picking suitable clothes they set off hand in hand to PJ and Chris's house. It was only about a mile away so they decided to walk. The cold breeze whipped at their faces and their noses were bright red from cold. However they soon arrived to the small little house and rang the door bell eager to get in the warm.

PJ swung the door open as full of energy as normal. "Dan! Phil! come on in pals, its been ages!"

"Hey PJ! great to see you" Dan responded shouting to be heard over the speakers. As they all walked into the small living room they noticed it was full of people dancing with beer bottles in their hands to the loudly playing music. the room was hot and sticky. Quite the opposite of the cool October night.

"Go enjoy yourselves!" PJ yelled before walking back in the opposite direction to answer the door yet again.

"Dan weaved through the crowd clutching Phil's hand tightly so he wouldn't lose him. "Let's go to the kitchen, that's where we will probably find Chris!" he yelled. Phil nodded in agreement and they set off in search of their friend.

They soon found themselves in the kitchen. It was a lot bigger than the small living room and was filled with crates of alcohol. Sure enough they saw Chris sitting across the room from them with a beer bottle in hand and a small smile on his face which suggested he was very drunk already.

"Hey Dan, hey Phil" he slurred attempting to take a step towards them but having to grab onto the counter to balance himself.

"Umm, hey Chris" Phil said slightly confused at how Chris could be that drunk already.

Dan grabbed a can of beer from the side and offered it to Phil who took one swig and handed it back to his boyfriend. "You know I don't drink to much." Phil smiled gently.

"So. How are you" Chris slurred out randomly

"Good, you?" Dan said taking a long swig from the can in his hand.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Did you guys know that me and PJ."

PJ cut him off by putting his hand over Chris's mouth in a panic. "Not now." He warned before removing his hand and escorting him out of the room.

"Well... that was weird" Phil commented as he turned to look at Dan who nodded in agreement.

"Yeah it was."

Author's note:

Sorry for the wait guys! I have been so busy recently. I have had loads of exams and mock exams. But i recently got my first A* so woooo!

But anyway Thanks for reading :D and if anyone has any ideas on how I can improve this story or things I can add to make the storyline better don't hesitate to comment or message me!

I don't bite! ;D

Thanks guys! Until next time. ADIOS!


End file.
